The Children We Deserve

Not long after Suzanne was born we got a call from someone who told us that God had given us what we deserved. This remark was intended to hurt us, but since it came from a very sick person, we considered the source and blew it off. Her loss, because Suzanne is a little ray of sunshine to everyone she meets. We will never allow her to be a part of Suzanne's life because Suzanne deserves to receive as much love as she gives.

I have pondered this remark from time to time, though, and while this person meant it in a cruel way, there is a lot of truth to it. In many ways I think we get kids who are way too good for us and our challenge is to raise them without botching it up too much. Take Kirk for example--he has a natural honesty and frankness about him that is both shocking and endearing. Like the time he and Greg went to Bi-Mart to buy another plunger. (We had 3 toilets and only 2 plungers and I firmly believe that each toilet deserves its own plunger.) Anyway, as they were checking out, Kirk strikes up a conversation with the cashier and calmly informs her that they were buying the plunger "because Daddy overloads the toilet." Poor Greg--I'm not sure he's ever been back to Bi-Mart since then! The question is, how do we teach Kirk tact and discretion without squelching the very thing that makes him so interesting?

And then there's Suzanne. This has been a week of huge learning, but at the same time we are trying to teach her boundaries. The two don't go together as far as Suzanne is concerned. I was mulling this over awhile back when we met another couple with 2 children. The mother is a lovely young woman who takes issue with germs--she would never allow the 5 second rule. Most of us get over the cleanliness issue with the second child, but I doubt that she ever will. Hey, she has the kind of nice clean home that I can only dream about so more power to her.

But I was thinking about how it would be if Suzanne were her daughter. I don't think she would fare very well with Suzanne because Suzanne insists upon controlling her own environment. I have given up on controlling Suzanne's environment, it's just not feasible. About the second time she found poop nuggets all over the bedroom floor we'd probably have to ship her off to the spa for some aromatherapy and a relaxing facial.

So I guess in some ways we do get the children we deserve. I may not like Suzanne's learning process or the control she has over my life, but I can live with it (grumbling all the way...).

And speaking of the spa, should anyone in my viewing audience wish to take pity on me, please nominate me for a makeover at http://1041thefish.com/makeovermonday.aspx . I could nominate myself, but that seems a bit pathetic. Alright, begging for nominations on a blog is equally pathetic but I have no dignity left.

(sigh....) Let's go see what Suzanne has in store for me today!